Written by Omotoyosi Ogunbanwo
1. There is a place in Lagos called Lagos. Probably only yorubas can understand the pun. Eko in Eko😂…lol
- We have Lagos island and Island. Never take one for the other. Lagos island is Obalende, Balogun, Isale eko and the very core parts of lagos. Island is Victoria island, lekki, ajah. So if someone says I am going to Lagos island, don’t assume he/she is going to lekki and vice versa.
- Festac is mostly occupied by igbos and people from the south south.
- A good majority of Lagosians who were taken as slaves found their way back home after the abolishment of slave trade.
- The people from badagry Lagos speak a language most lagosians can’t speak. They understand us, but we do not understand them.
- Ikeja is the capital of the city. It is in the centre of Lagos. It takes approximately the same time to get there from both extreme sides of lagos with no traffic.
- Ikeja is an acronym for Ikorodu and epe joint administration.
- Epe is the fish capital of the nation. If you ever meet a lady from epe who tells you she doesn’t eat fish, my brother run!!! She must be mami water, and she is afraid of eating her kids😂.
- Most lagosians are from one royal family or the other. why? Because we are so proud of ourselves we crown ourselves kings and queens whenever we fucking want…lmaooo
- We lagosians are actually a scarce commodity in our town😥. As a Lagosian, I hardly have any friend from lagos except Bolaji Yusuff. We are really a scarce commodity!
- The term yoruba demon was made for Lagos boys. They are the definition. Do not trust any man from lagos😶😶😶😶.
- The average Lagos girl gets married at least 4 times in her life time😂. They do not understand the term ‘surulere’ and do not mind leaving a son to marry his father. This is especially popular with girls from isale eko and ikorodu. And if you are from both parts like me, then wahala dey oh😏
- We lagosians started this bleaching journey before you all. As far back as 1900. Both men and women wanted desperately to be light skinned. So they bleached with tube creams…lmaooo. This is however exclusive only to the isale eko part of lagos. Those people are razz fa😂
14a. Only a true lagosian can tell if you are ‘old money’ and new money from your surname. If you mention your surname, a lagosian can immediately tell if you are from epe, or badagry or isale eko or ikorodu. Most old money are from isale eko anyway. Each surname for each region is different. And only the true born lagosians can differentiate each.
- Lagos is an island (You probably already know that). It is surrounded by water; except of course you live at iyana ipaja. The waterways are big enough that every lagosian can travel safely by water to their destination. We only need more people to invest in the waterways.
- There is Lagos yoruba and others. The yoruba we speak here has been thoroughly diluted. Alimosho local government is the biggest in Lagos state.
- Finally, Lagos is the best state in this country. I am sure you all know that. Why else are you here? I love my city! I am proud of her. Even with all the traffic and madness.