Wedding Palaver In Nigeria

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So we have Falz and Simi planning their wedding. We also have Emenike and Nnenna planning theirs. You obviously do not know the latter. Now you can imagine how Falz and Simi’s wedding will be, but you cannot imagine Emenike and Nnenna’s.

Falz and Simi are celebrities. They’ve signed autographs the world over. They’ve had to deal with frightening crowds. For their wedding, they want a small crowd.

Just few family and friends from the bride and groom. Emenike and Nnenna both have small businesses. They’re doing good, but not as good as their celebrity counterparts. Well, they’re expecting a large crowd for their wedding. Nnenna wants all her village people to be around. Before Emenike, Nedu disappointed her so she wants word to spread that she eventually got married. Nedu is in Brazil. He will hear.

Simi phones a wedding planner. It’s a destination wedding at Mauritius. She sends special invitation to her friends. They pull out their passports from their drawers. They’re ready.

Nnenna travels to Abagana. She wants Somi’s grandma to cook the rice. She’s the most popular burial cook in the area. And because of the crowd expected, it has to be her.

Both Simi and Nnenna are working on a low budget. Simi is feeding thirty guests in all. Vintage wines, buffet. Nnenna is feeding five thousand. Rice and dry meat, okpa ndi Enugu. Both Simi and Nnenna’s friends are happy. There is so much to eat.

Simi gets some nice gifts. A box of jewelries, a pair of handmade shoes; her ex-boyfriend bought her a car. Nnenna gets more gifts than Simi. Thirty metal basins, nineteen mortar and pestles, a dry chewed chewing stick. Nedu sends nothing.

The newly weds go for their honeymoon in France and Abakiliki, respectively. They return. Falz and Simi are still receiving alerts. Emenike and Nnenna are still paying debts, plus a cat meows at their backyard every night.

Such is the case between big and small; private and public. Use a finger to count your teeth. Some days, the tongue may give an inaccurate count.


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