Dreamer Tears

I’ve been so in love with the dream
that I refused to wake up to reality,
thus I sailed blindly in the euphoria of what it should
instead of what is.

It’s time I nudge myself
and though with sleepy eyes,
walk out of this empty pregnant hope I have.

The dream is perfect,
but the reality is nowhere compared to it,
so I figured sleeping would be the best.

…but while I slept,
the reality always pricked me,
pinching me where it hurt the most,
being my constant reminder of what is
than what should.

Here I stand,
Unsure of you
but filled with surety for me.

With time,
I wanted to make the dream my reality
but you always shoved me awake to show me its futile
I have to wake up to reality,
though it hurts.



I want to rip my heart out so you’d see,
see how much your name is wrapped around it
and how much it breathes your name.

I want to sing you a song,
a song of truth and a thousand tales
of how dark nights turned dawn.

I want to tell a tale of how your hands have held me through the fiery darts
hurled by life and humans too.

I want to scream
because I lack words to express the party in my head at the mention of your name.

I want to climb to the highest heights,
where I’d see nature and nature would see me
and listen to me blab about my merry nights.

I would tell the hills of your goodness,
and the valleys of your comfort.
I would tell the mountains you are a crony
and the shrubs you are a knight.

I want to dance
to this uncordinated music in my head
seeking freedom from my lips.

I want to tap tap yo the saxophone
and swoon to the whistles.

I want to dream and live it real.
I want to want you here, now and tomorrow.

I want to love you here, now and forever.

I want the moon and the stars
to flash you a smile for me.
and may the sun brighten your day.

I want to bear the stripes of your gentle strokes when we lock toes and click fingers.

All this wants and wishes have left my nights lonely
and my days longer,
yet I want to want and keep on wanting.

Whether it pierces or fixes,
I’d still live loving.