I Am Her

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I am her,
the broken piece of china ware that wounds all who come her way,
the hurting spring that rains words that cut as a knife
never minding her victims.

I am her,
the perfect replica of imperfection
the wolf in sheepskin
one meant to be feared and revered.

I am her,
the road less travelled
the giver of scars to every leg that threads her paths
who comes bearing fruits of peace.

I am her,
the black sheep gone darker
the misfit, who never fits in.

I am her,
the one bruised by mortal men
Who ignored the glitz of her pearly gates
serving me assorted dishes of pain, pity and penury.

I am her,
the one you saw without eyes
And heard without ears
the one you chose to heal.

I am her,
Whose brokenness, you saw through
whose wretched nature, you waded beyond
the one whose bloodshot eyes, you saw peace.

I am her,
the last string of hope,
The forsaken
Your Bella at midnight.

I am her,
Who soars on your wings of care
And walks on your thin threads of hope
One washed in your blue sea of agape.

I am her,
Indebted to you,
till our forever comes.

FALLEN

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I try to get it right,
but reach time I fall helplessly in the hands of failure,
so he looks me in the eye and reminds me of how many times I’d fallen.

I lie awake on this star less night,
the cold seeping through my clothes
but the heat burning within
is nothing compared to those I felt when I realize I am on my knees again; fallen.

I try to cast my eyes back in time,
but each time I fall on the open arms of guilt,
she scorns, mocks and giggles
at my resolve to stand
knowing my knuckled knees would fail me yet again.

I bleed deeply within
But it’s not always not deep enough because I find myself swimming in the tide of the river of sin again, fallen.

I try to be it,
but end up being eaten by my desires;
desires I could have hung
on the rugged calvary cross each time I fall at its feet.

My heart has seen me drenched in the sweat of my own beautiful chaos that each time I try to feign strength, it gently nudges me,
Smiles down on me,
giving me that “I know you look”.

Today, I give up trying;
trying to hold myself up from the debris of painful past that I’d unconsciously sworn never to leave.

Today, I refuse to be it anymore,
as I relinquish my desire to you;
letting you weave your magic through me
using your wand of love to restore me to my lost throne.

Today, I throw up my hands in total surrender,
I see my self inflicted chains give way as I feebly scream; freedom at last.

LOVE OR NOT

IMG_20160624_140530When it was; it was the best.
Now it’s no more, you wonder what blinded you.

It was the song on your lips
The joy in your heart;
One you swore never to lose.

While it was, you lived in the moon
Dined in the skies
And the sun was your favorite vacation spot.
It was hot.

While it was, cars became enemies
For it shortened your road trips;
You’re soaring in the euphoric atmosphere
And would cherish the long walks,
While it rained.

It was all you knew till you amnesia came calling,
Now you barely remember their names.

Now sitting beneath the mistletoe where you shared your first kiss;
It now reeks of unpleasant memories,
One you’d wish to erase forever
But like an unwanted visitors;
it returns every time.

You wonder if it was love
Or
not.