How Long

how long did we ache in the rain?
how long did we lay in the dark?
my hips acheing and churning,
alone in my bed,
i thought it normal to live
as though on fire,
i thought it normal
to cringe from the dawn,
to see couples and fear them,
to long to feel human touch,
yet I have a body of great shame,
hidden away.
how long did we ache in the rain?
how long did we lay in the dark?
my body is a glasshouse
waiting with the birds
for the next good storm,
i just want human contact,
yes i love too much,
but if i lose that,
i may as well lose half my name.
some fair woman, soon must hold her ams out
to warm my heart,
she would be joining a field of love
though it look not so
but as my late Queen said;
“The way a person looks
and the way that they feel to me,
they are two different things completely.”
no longer shall i ache in the rain
or beg sleep in the dark,
i am human, and need love
i float above,

/Elven Debi

The sound of my heels

The sound of my heels
Still sings of forgotten paths
And of dreams deferred

I hear her screaming
Louder than the thumping
Of my feeble heart for love
Louder than the echoes
Of your empty promises
Now forgotten

I hear her when the rains
Are stuck
And the sun scares the rooftop
To safety

I hear her when the baby cries
For want of suck
Yet left unheard

I hear the sound
Of my heels
Each time I try
Once, twice, thrice
Till I lost count of
Algebra and arithmetics

I hear her each time
I shove my fears
Down time’s throat
And as I stoop to gather
My once shattered courage

I hear her at dusk
When the bird of solace
And I sit, gazing at stars

I hear her mock my strength
Weaved by cords
Cords I sheath every time
I try to go

I hear her at dawn
When the sun heralds the new path
And I lay glued to the pool
Of my tears
For want of zeal
Yet lacking her

I hear her today
Like she was here
Gliding down the wooden
Crevice of my once battered life

I hear her tip toe in reverse
Beckoning on me to follow

I hear her
But all I see is all I can be
Without heels


I am here,

righting the wrongs of my past,

I was here,

I lived,but short

I died, but here I am
I came

I lived

I died,

Here’s a toast,

A toast to my rebirth
I am loathed

Hated, yet I come happy

Bringing bliss in tear drops each time,
Before my waking days, I died

Rekindling burnt candles of yore
© Maureen Alikor