You Are A Woman, So What?

textgram_1468008498See, it will be rather demeaning that the only description that comes with your name is, “… this is Maureen, the wife of Mr. So and so and so”.
I don’t know the joy that comes from such. I was born an individual first before I got joined to anybody via holy matrimony. So why should my relevance be attached to someone else?

These days I see ladies who do nothing to grow and contribute their life, their family and their world but they invest all their time on finding a rich and handsome man to marry so he can rescue them from themselves.

As a lady, the potential to excel is in you and you leaving them dormant and useless is you showing us how selfish and unproductive you are.

You are wired to succeed, but the success won’t come by merely doing nothing.

Imagine that you would come to this earth and not make any impact.

Imagine that you will come to this world and not maximize all or even one quarter of the abilities, talents, and possibilities inside of you.

Imagine that you would not even recognize that you are a vessel.

Imagine that you as a woman will only be known and remembered as just the wife of one Mister. ( ha ba).

Isn’t it scary? It scares the living daylight out of me that perhaps one day, when I am no longer on this side of the earth and when they want to describe me or talk about me, they’d have nothing to say but ” she was the wife of ….

Don’t get me wrong here, I am not saying it is bad that a lady would be described as Mrs.Somebody but being described as JUST Mrs. Somebody (emphasis on Just).

You are a woman, so what?
You have hands, legs, eyes, brains and all that a man has (except of course for his sexual organs).
You have opportunities, education, skills and all that is made available to you.

You are an oil well that needs to be discovered and tapped.

You are a bunch of gifts. Use them.

Use them.
Grow you.

Let your zeal to grow, change, contribute and make impact be the motivating factor you need every morning as you wake up.

If nothing, let the fact that you hope to bring children into this world because the FUEL you need to get up today and do something.

Enough of this shallow women loitering around earth.
Enough of this women mindset that a man should do all the providing.
Enough of this mindset that you have soaked ourselves in, that you are an “obiangeri”. ( The one who came Just to eat).

Struggles of a 21st Century Woman

Struggles? Do you know there are struggles that are synonymous with womanhood in this 21st century?

Let’s highlight a few of these struggles.

It is not easy being a lady growing up in the era. I am sure it used to be much easier during the era of our parents and grandparents.

There are so many things battling for the attention of a lady in this century – and some of this things are things she can’t casually wave aside, she has to handle them in one way or the other or they would keep piling up.

Here is a little list of some of the struggles faced by a 21st century lady.

1.Being beautiful – Do you know being beautiful in this era comes with its own hassle. Facial beauty attracts a lot of oddities and it is quite alarming how a beautiful woman will not know peace for the sake of her beauty.
Every tom, dick and harry will want to be her man. Even she is married, she is still being toasted.
Also, being a beauty in this era automatically comes with the notion that you are disrespectful. People have come to believe that and I wonder what gives them this notion or is it a case of over generalization.

One possible reason I foresee is the fact that a woman who is beautiful has got to be a bit hard/harsh to some people of the opposite sex who might see her calmness as a yardstick to disrespect her and when she speaks out, she is termed disrespectful.

2. Fashion: these days they say fashion is you and you are fashion. Dress how you want to be addressed. Yet, with the changing times comes fashion change and mehn, you have to meet up with the standard or at least try to meet up or you’d be termed dirty and archaic.

Most times when as a decent lady you choose to dress moderately and respectfully, you get to hear stuffs like, you are being holier than the pope, you are being all to old fashioned thereby behaving like an old woman – na wa.
And you know how women and clothes are attached.

3. Losing male friends: the rate at which females lose male friends is becoming rather alarming.

As a lady, when you become friends with a guy and for years you remain as friends but emotions have a way of creeping, when it so happens and the guy asks you out for a relationship and you say no, truth is, many of them kill the friendship, they say they can’t be friends with you if they can’t date you.
If she dates all her good friends that are male, won’t they tag her a whore, yet they refuse to understand that she can be friends with you and not develop emotions for you if she is in a relationship or if she sees you as just a friend. Yes, a woman is like that.

That brings me to the question, between males and females, which party develops emotion faster?

4. Intelligence: For a lady, being intelligent comes with it’s own wahala. You are expected to hide your intelligence when a man is in sight or they’d tag you disrespectful and a show off.
Guys find it rather awkward and insulting for a lady to be intelligent and wahala brews when as a result of her intelligence, she is recognized or placed ahead of the guys in her work place or wherever they may find themselves.

I remember a scenario where a senior lady told a younger lady that she has to be a intentionally stupid sometimes so her man will not be threatened and take to his heels. Hian.

I hear stuffs like, men feel like lesser men when they are with an intelligent woman, but it should not be so except the man in a question is one who has refused to grow in his own intelligence.
When a woman is intelligent, most of them recognizes it is a challenge so they have to put extra effort in being humble and meek which at times may lead to their respect and worth being trampled upon.

A woman can’t be less than what God made her to be just because a guy is not comfortable with it. I remember a friend once said to me that her man complains that her intelligence is unhealthy for their relationship and that she should stop reading. Hmmmmmm.
Instead of feeling threatened, he should up his game.
God help intelligent women.

5. Marriage ish: Marriage has become the important possession a person acquires. It has becomes the highest position a person achieves, though marriage is a good thing but for the love of me, it should not be forced on a person who isn’t ready.
In this era once you have attained a certain age, society automatically expects you begin your search for a life partner.

Sometimes, they begin asking you obvious questions.
Parents are not left out in this torment. They torment their girl child with the constant cries of ‘I want to carry my grandchildren’.
You people will carry, make una wait.
Una go carry them.

To be continued…

Becoming a Godly Woman- 3

We have been on a series, Becoming a godly woman and today we shall be looking at a second woman, She is..


She is a young lady just like very many of us in our generation, she was said to be betrothed to Joseph.
It was said of her that she was a virgin.
In her era, there were sure to be more beautiful ladies, more educated ladies and more Spiritual ladies but because she was pure and kept herself for the Lord, she was chosen to be the mother of our Lord Jesus Christ.

So in a world of deception, we can choose to stand on our conviction of what is right and not be led astray by the changing times and the evils of the times.
We can make her our role model.
She is a worthy model.
When we choose to be a godly woman, men and women will stand in for us, people will vouch for us when we are accused of doing evil.
In our world, when people know you to be godly people they will recommend you when the need arises, they will want to be acquainted with you because they know you have something to offer. They know you are a well of wisdom and you are transparent in all your dealings with other.

Becoming a godly woman is as possible as it is important.
May God help us.