A couple of days ago while working on the book “First Aid Guide To Helping Rape Victims”, and responding to a comment on the demystify abuse campaign blog, I read through my rape story, and began to laugh at how interestingly funny life can be.
And I believe strongly that because I was able to view the experience via a different perspective that had nothing to do with seeing myself as a victim, it played a significant role in how God helped me navigate through the recovery phase.
A BREAK DOWN OF THE LONG STORY
– In June or July 2016, I fell terribly sick and I can say, I almost died: only about 4 people in my life knew about it.
– I went to the hospital and the doctors couldn’t decipher what was wrong, but I was getting weaker.
– My mother, scared for my safety asked me to come over to hers, because she was worried about the fact that I lived alone.
– I carried my sick self over to suck mother’s breast.(as an adult baby that I am).
– That period was when I made a new friend, Tobi. He was practically the only one who would call in, check up on me and suggest drugs that would help me at various points.
– On a particular Sunday morning (about 3 days after I arrived at Mom’s), I couldn’t join them to church, so I stayed home and decided to worship God alone on the Fake “Paul Frank” Bedsheet my younger sister had bought for our room.
– While worshipping, meditating and listening for what God would say, I thought about my life and how I hadn’t done much for humanity, and how I hadn’t used a huge part of my life in service to God.
– I told God, I wouldn’t want to die yet…
I told him to clearly show me what I would do with my life to serve humanity.
– Right there, God, through the Holy Spirit began to help me see the tools I could use to serve humanity.
– The sexual abuse I experienced as a teen, and the journey through recovery and survival was the most significant tool that was brought to the surface.
– I received the name “Demystify Abuse” that morning. I wrote it down, then I began to brood over how I would go about it and some of the projects I would take on.
– Later in the day, I shared the revelation with Tobi, my consistent and ever present friend and doctor of that season (I had become so fond of him and couldn’t wait to share it with him).
– By the evening of the same day, my health began to pick up and by Monday, my Mom was shocked when I told her I was ready to go back home.
-I went back home and didn’t start up work with Demystify Abuse: I didn’t know how and where to start, so i figured I would begin it the next year (2017).
– Life had its own plan and I didn’t know.
– I began to hear of frequent rape cases around my neighbourhood, and on Social media. It became a burden on me.
– On the 15th of November, 2016, I figured I was ready to start preparing for the coming year (2017), so I began making plans for Demystify Abuse.
– I came on this Facebook, and asked for a Graphics Designer, I had so many options; but decided to go with Erhime Olotewo. (I have a screenshot of that post).
– I spoke with him, and told him a little bit about my story and what I wanted to do with Demystify Abuse and how I needed a simple logo. He agreed to design one for me.
– Sometime around 1:45am, Erhime who was in Lagos at that time, sent me the logo he had designed via WhatsApp, but because I was battling ovulation pain, I told him we would talk about it the next day.
– I stopped talking/chatting with him (Erhime) and then called Tobi, who had graduated to being my boyfriend .
– Tobi had a way of helping me lessen the pain with songs, his voice and of course, his sense of humour.
– At about 2:05am, that when the robbers broke into my house, collected my phones and a few other belongings and then they raped me.
– Then they threatened me, and dared me to tell anyone I had been raped. And that made me angry and also sent off an alarm and a lightbulb in my head.
– I remember saying to myself “OHHH, SO THE DEVIL WANTS TO SHUT ME UP”.
– I resolved not to be quiet about the rape, and I knew I had to kickoff Demystify Abuse Campaign @demystifyabuse as soon as possible, and I knew I had to publicly share my story: encouraging other victims to do same.
It was the first step to intentional healing.
– So, I told God to help me go through the healing and recovery, but in the meantime, I was going to begin sharing the story and telling the world that healing and recovery was possible. Oh, very possible.
– I began encouraging people to speak up about their experience, because I learnt that one of the plans of the devil was to shut the mouth of victims, and as such, keep them from TAKING BACK THEIR VOICE, POWER AND FREEDOM.
– I knew nothing about how to go about it, but then I knew the God who gave the vision, I knew He could teach me the unique strategy to employ: and HE DID.
– I got a new friend, Edima to design a logo and I set to planning the very first outdoor outreach.
– I shared my story online, told everyone the plans I had and what I wanted to do, and together with the amazing people on Facebook, in my church, my family and friends, I set out to do what I had never done before.
– I was greatly supported and your support has never waned.
To EVERYONE who supported, donated and gave towards the outreach, I love you.
To those who volunteered to speak, share and link me up with relevant help like “Doctors Without Borders”, I am deeply grateful.
My story still makes me laugh, but in all of things I grew, I learnt, I am still alive, and yayyyyyyyy, I married Tobi
God has been faithful.
For more details on all we do and hope to do, visit demystifyabuse.wordpress.com